Oh, Georgina!

“Do you know what Louise told me today?”

George Phillips rolled his eyes behind his reading glasses, turned the page of his book and replied, trying hard to keep the sarcasm out of his voice, “No. I didn’t know you talked to her today.”

His wife, Georgina adjusted the covers and plopped her heavy frame into bed. Georgina continued, oblivious to her husband’s tone, with a nod of her head, “Well, she said that Reverend Riley was a pot smoker.”

George marked the page of his book with his finger, knowing full well he needed to nip this in the bud, “And how would she know that?”

“I don’t know, but she claims it’s true.  And I believe her. He looks like a pot smoker to me.”

“And what does a pot smoker look like?”

Georgina, who didn’t respond to questions to which she didn’t have a ready answer, nestled down on her side of the bed and stated more to herself, “I hope the congregation doesn’t hear about this.”

“Well, don’t you go repeating it.”

“George! How could you accuse me of spreading gossip? You know I don’t gossip!”

 

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5 thoughts on “Oh, Georgina!

  1. Anne Konigsmark says:

    I liked it; it’s engaging. I’m glad I read this.

  2. Hi Keith! This is great–you’re putting, apparently, a lot of effort into work on your writing! I’m not a novelist; I do nonfiction and philosophy stuff, so you will want to take these few little comments lightly, okay? First, I am commenting on your initial three blogs you provided: I would suggest you get a copy editor/proofreader–the grammar and syntax need a little work and that will help to clarify some small questions readers may have. One sentence, for instance, in the blog with Jacob, said, “and who is this honey?” I believe that was the wording. The point is, did you mean “who is this honey?” OR “who is this, honey?” Note the comma. Note the change in meaning and tone. Then, in the first blog, just above, I don’t understand what George’s sarcasm is about, where it comes from and, in this case, where it even leads. (I.e., why is it mentioned?) Then the context kind of shifts from one place to another without a mechanism of any kind and the whole thing becomes somewhat meaningless. AND, Keith, like I said, take that lightly because you may be quite adept at fiction writing and have tools and mechanisms all over the place and I’m just unaware. It merely sounds off to me, in my gut. So there you have it!

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to look at your material!

    Lynelle Paulick

    • keithwrites1 says:

      Lynelle,
      Thanks for the feedback. Your comments are exactly what I want to hear!! My goal in posting is to keep myself writing and to get constructive feedback, so that I can become a better writer. I welcome any feedback that you have.

    • keithwrites1 says:

      Lynelle,
      I just reread my posting and you are right about George’s sarcasm. It jumps out at the reader. When writing the scene, I envisioned his comment as being sarcastic, but there is no groundwork for the reader!

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